Just a little fun...

I don't have much to add to this journey today... other than this small bit of encouragement... It gets better. We cleaned the house (all but 2 bedrooms) in under 35min. I did bathrooms, swept, vacuumed, and dusted... but since its not ever THAT messy, it doesn't take long to clean...
So I leave you with these.

Just so happened, I DID get dressed in real clothes AND do something to my hair today! So my hubby got double the "good"!

Family Planner to have or not to have?

I've been reading about the family planners that everyone raves about. The bloggers who are pushing them say they are they key to being organized and productive... I see it as one more thing to do. So I may go ahead and create one tomorrow, put it into practice, and see how it goes for the rest of my 21 days!
The writers over at Parenting with Miss Poppins have put this darling one together.
http://professorpoppins.blogspot.com/2011/03/family-planner.html
It does look so very organized!
I have a TON of pocket protectors, and binders... I'm just wondering if it will feel like MORE work to fill out paperwork on my everyday life. But, I do so love lists...
Here's a few more...
Over at I Heart Organizing
http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/2011/03/march-challenge-project-household_9757.html
they have a pretty organized (and full) binder as well.
 These lists look very tempting. And I do feel like they would help...
And her binder is so adorable...

So I'll either do it starting tomorrow... or maybe I"ll make February a 28days to my family binder! haha
Oh, and if its totally illegal and wrong with me copying these pictures, I do so appologize! I did provide the links above, So... let me know if I've broken any rules... I think these are fabulous!
tomorrow, I'll give you an update... and I need to start working on some household chores for everyone, me doing it all just isn't cutting it! Still praying about that. Stay tuned!

Monday's are the worst...

I figured if I could make it from Monday to Monday, I'd be good! I've gotten into rythms before that seems to work, but by the weekend, no one chips in, and I'm tired and think, "I can take one day off, I've worked to hard!" But then by Monday the house is a wreck and I start my week out on a sour note.
This weekend I pushed through. I had a birthday party for my daughter and father-in-law, so we had 15guests. I couldn't really take a break. And what I thought would take me 30 min, took me 1.5hours. So I was bummed. My goal is to have the house guest ready in less than 30 min... but it was really just the first week, huh!?
Today I dragged on though. But I pressed through anyway. I even went to the gym for an hour!

In my attempts to stay productive, I want to organize tasks that when unorganized take longer... So I made my January Meal Calendar. I went ahead and planned out the rest of the month's meals. I HATE coming up with meals. Last week I just bought stuff and then realized I bought stuff that didn't create meals... Wasting time... and money.
I even made little tear off lists so I could quickly sit down and make a list. before heading to the store. To make it easier, I went to pintrest.com and put "dinner" in the search.

 I decided Mondays would be soup, Tuesdays something mexican (Taco salad, Taco, nachos, enchilada) Wednesdays needed to be easier, Sundays we are never in the mood to cook... stuff like that.
And tonight, I'm planning on getting to bed earlier! Maybe not 10p, I still need to feed my baby (and its 2 min til, anyway)... but earlier than midnight for sure!
If your following, thanks a lot! I appreciate your support. But I mainly keep a log for myself, I share in case anyone else is following the same path... if you have tips to share, I'll take em!

Don't just let it be!

I didn't read any article today... I just didn't know what to read...
However, I had my moment... I sat exhausted from the fussy baby's afternoon. I decided to take a nap, only to be awakened 10 min later by the baby fussing somemore! So by 4pm I thought to myself "The house looks fine. I'm going to skip the afternoon clean up"... but then I remembered what happens when I fall into the trap of "Just let it be"... So I was a good little girl and I stuck to routine. I did the clean sweep. I had the kids do theirs, and I even cleaned up the dinner dishes even though I didn't want to! Its going to be SO worth it when tomorrow comes and we start to prepare for 15+ guests to come over on Sunday for another birthday party, and we will only have to spend about 30 min to have the house party ready! (I'll need to clean bathrooms, and sweep and mop!) Its going to be SO worth it!
I feel like we are having more fun all around here! The kids are happier because there isn't so much mommy stress... I am happier... not sure Dave has noticed that much, maybe he has noticed that I'm not as cranky... not sure! haha. But I guess he will when I politely ask him to grab the bottle and dirty diaper he left by the chair... but maybe he'll remember ;).
Off to bed... NOT anywhere near my new bedtime... oh well! Maybe someday that will work!

You've got to be kidding me... and I love schedules!

So I am working on a schedule for our days. I have done this many times, it ALWAYS works, but then it gets too easy and we fall out of sorts, and we find ourselves stressed, disorganized, and frustrated that the days aren't going as they used to. So I have noticed that Nate is almost on a schedule all by himself (all my kids have done this, how blessed could I be, right!?). So I worked mainly around his day, and tweaked it just a tad. Today he wasn't too happy with my tweaking and was VERY tired by 6pm! Poor guy!
I've been getting up around 6:30a (not this morning, though, I needed a tad extra sleep!), hoping to nurse Nate and do some devotions before my early rising girlies wake up.
I get Zech up at 7:15ish so he can have breakfast and he and I can start school at 8. I was noticing that it was getting too hard to teach both kids at the same time. So I if I stagger their times a tad, they can overlap where necessary, but have their own time as well... hopefully by the time the next two get into school, the older two will be more independent. K and 1st are pretty dependent on a teacher!
Anyway, So Zech and I get started around 8, by 9, Zech does seatwork for Language Arts and Math (two things that he needs little instruction on). 9, I nurse Nate and work on getting him to nap by 9:30. Then I can work with Lily. By 10, she is ready for seatwork, Zech can have a break, and Ruby and I can have some play time... which also is time to play some "clean up" games. She loves getting to go downstairs for the 10 min it may take for me to switch laundry around.
11a, school is done, Nate is awakened. He doesn't LOVE this yet, maybe I'll change it. I was just hoping to get everyone to nap by 1pm, if he wakes at 11, he's ready for a good nap at 1.
11 is a good time to do what we are calling a "CLEAN SWEEP" where each kid cleans up what they were doing that morning. Zech stacks his school books, puts crayons, pencils, or whatever else he used for seatwork/lessons away. Lily cleans up what she played with that morning during her play time and Ruby learns to clean up. I either check laundry, or do one of the daily chores (bathrooms, dust, my bedroom, vacuum). Lunch at 12, nap at 1... then I can do the dishes, mop the floor, and still have from 1:30-3 to nap, read, watch MONK... whatever I need to do (get on Facebook!) and if Nate wakes by 3, I can nurse him again... however, if he continues to sleep, I let him go until 4. My goal is to have his last feeding at 10pm. So the evening is trying to stretch him to get to that 10pm mark (feeding a few min late at 3, 5, and 8ish). We do a "Clean Sweep" at 3, and again at 7:30. Kids in bed at 8, Nate down by 7ish... I want to be in bed by 10... it is now 10:15! (this is the hardest part!)
*** I only write this boring part for my own good. So I can come back and look at what I did when I fall off the wagon and find myself in a rut! Its working right now... maybe it will work then too!
Today I read:
http://kathrynvercillo.hubpages.com/hub/Managing-Your-Household-Tips-for-Stay-at-Home-Moms
Totally worthless... Sorry if the author is reading this... but I did gain this nugget.

•  Many moms get it in their heads that they can get to the laundry, the dishes, the lunches, the dinners, the errands ... all later. Having no structure makes you put everything off until the last minute which creates stress
• I just need to remind myself of this... keep on the schedule! Don't stray, stay on track!!!

But then just when I thought, "Right! Good point!" it says this "You've got to be kidding"
statement(s).

• Don't forget those spa days. No, you're not one of those mythical women who gets to spend all day at boutiques and day spas. But you should act like one every now and then. The best way to effectively manage your home is to make sure that you're in tip top form and that means occasionally spoiling yourself. Get the spouse to take one day off per month to stay with the kids or hire a bi-weekly nanny to come in so you can go out. Don't feel guilty; good management starts with a good home manager.,
• I TOTALLY agree that getting some time away does a momma good! No one wants to be at their job 24/7/365! And as a SAHM(that stands for Stay at Home Mom... just in case), we are around our kids and home ALL THE TIME. So its nice to have a date, or if we can't find a sitter, to go out with the girls once in a while. I try to do it once a month for a few hours, even if I just go get groceries alone. BUT, does the writer of the article realize that sahms
• Ok, rant over!

So I read this article too... This was a good one!

http://www.babytobee.com/organizing-your-day.html

• Design a cleaning schedule that works for you. You may plan to complete a specific task each day. For example, maybe you will mop on Mondays, clean bathrooms on Tuesdays, and dust on Wednesdays. This way your house gets clean, but you don't spend your entire weekend cleaning it. If this approach doesn't work for you, try to find one that does
• This does work for me... I have been doing this for awhile... I highly suggest it!

I have to say 5 days into this, I am loving it! Today I had a 1p appt. I worked my morning so we would eat sooner, and be walking out the door at 12:30. However, I did take the time to pick up so that when we returned home with Dave, and our groceries, the house would be clean. It took me 3 min! THREE min to clean my house! Then we had dinner, had the dinner mess, and Dave was out the door to practice. Nate was fussy (too tired, and wanted to be sleeping)... but I jostled him while I cleaned up dinner... it wasn't too hard, but worth having a clean house to sit and chill in for the night. The kids gladly picked up at 7:30 since it wasn't too many toys (since we already did our 2 other cleanups!)... its going very smoothly!
(Man, this one was long! Sorry, readers!)

Birthday Day

Whew, what a day! I stayed up last night until 3:30a decorating and getting the last minute touches on Ruby's birthday party. I just kept repeating in my head, "its past my bedtime!". I look forward to getting into bed at 10p reading until 10:30, and sleeping all night... except, I have yet to keep to that! Its supposed to be my new schedule, but day 1, we stayed up and rearranged furniture and organized the living room. day 2, I was still running around at 10:30, then couldn't stop reading until 11:30, and, well, last night was a joke! But tonight, I'm going to go early!
I love the feeling of having it all together... I look forward to when this lifestyle is a given, and not something I have to try so hard at!
I'll be implementing a daily schedule (loosely, since I still have an infant not completely on a schedule). I sure do like schedules!
But today... today was fun day, can't you see all the fun we had (7 mommies and 12 kiddos, plus 3 babies!)


Today I read
http://www.wikihow.com/Schedule-Your-Day
Mainly only because I want to use this time to learn as well as practice... but man, I'm just so tired, I just wanted to go to bed... but I did take these things away from the article.

• Scheduling helps you establish a set rhythm to tasks helping you complete tasks, eventually you don't need to schedule them on paper and will do it internally judging time down to the minute for this reason is important. Our body clocks are very accurate.
• This has always been so true in my life... I just need to get back to it!
• Leave time to relax; schedule it if you have to.
• Oh yea! Scheduled down time is a must!
• DON'T procrastinate. It only leaves you extremely stressed, unorganized, and just plain irritable.
• This is what I'm trying to get away from... a major rule I need to follow. Instead of saying "I'm too tired, I'll clean this mess after I nap." I went ahead and took the 20 minutes it required and just cleaned, vacuumed, and organized... then I could take a nap and not worry about waking up in a bad mood because the house was a mess... i think my husband was thankful, too!

Now... time to go nurse this baby and maybe get AHEAD of schedule by going to bed at 9 instead of 10!

Busy vs. Productive

bus·y/ˈbizē/

Adjective:	Having a great deal to do.
Verb:	Keep occupied: "she busied herself with her new home".
Synonyms:	adjective. occupied - engaged - active verb. occupy     pro·duc·tive/prəˈdəktiv/ Adjective: Producing or able to produce large amounts of goods, crops, or other commodities. Relating to or engaged in the production of goods, crops, or other commodities. Synonyms: fruitful - fecund - fertile - prolific - generative

Here I thought I was going to make a point about how my aim in these next 28 days was not to stay busy, but to get things done But the definitions really bother me! My desire is not to fill my day with meaningless tasks just to say "I was so busy today", but to go to bed each day knowing I had a productive day. That I got done what needed to be done. And if that means I spent time comforting crying children, playing with a two year old who needed a little extra attention, or lounging around listening to my first grader read; I did things that NEEDED to be done. Granted, I'd like to be able to say I did all those things and still went to bed with dishes done, floors swept and vacuumed, and a good conversation had with my man. But I"m not trying to just stay "busy".
Dave and I used to live in a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere (it took 3 hours just to get to a walmart!). Shops closed down by 5 each night... some were "modern" and would stay open on the weekends all the way until 7pm! We were bored out of our gourdes! We had Zech, who was only a year old. But we were bored. The house stayed clean (I only had ONE child then!), Dave worked, came home and we sat around. We took walks, but the town was very small. We'd seen it all. But somehow, everyone in the town spoke about how "busy" they were. They were always stating how they wished there were more hours in a day, they were always too busy to get things done. Dave and I didn't understand. WHAT WERE THEY DOING!!!??? And could they share some with us bored folk! Maybe it was that we came from a big city to a small town. Maybe it was because we came from a larger church with more programs, maybe it was that we had gone from being just the two of us, to having a newborn, to then living in a small town with a pretty independent one year old. But we felt these people were just busybodies (Good people, just good busy body people!). I don't want the "busy" life, I want the productive life...
However, the definitions do me no good! I don't want "a great deal to do".. I mean, I already have that!
I don't want to just "occupy" my time... but then again, I don't think I want to "produce large amounts of goods, crops, or other commodities." either! So I shall adopt my own definition from the synonyms given for each...
Fruitful. I want to be fruitful. I want to teach my children, I want their knowledge to multiply, their joy to increase.
Engaged: I want to be engaged in life. Not just stressing about having a clean house!
Fertile: NO! I've been too fertile, hence the craziness in my home! HAHA! Just kidding. But I DO want this to be a home that is fertile for spiritual growth.

Today I read:
http://stress.about.com/od/stressmanagementtools/a/organized.htm

• A cluttered home can subtly drain you of energy
• It’s important to notice and eliminate patterns of stressors so that your stress response isn’t constantly triggered.

These two nuggets that I gained from the article go hand in hand... a messy cluttered home is my major source of stress! A messy kitchen will stick in my mind even when I'm away from home! So I will be working on a cleaning routine to keep this from creeping up... then I can keep my way open to being Fruitful, Engaged, and Fertile (but not THAT kind of fertile... PLEASE, GOD!)

Preventive Measures

It’s been said that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I'm sure this is true as it comes to being and staying productive. Not letting the house get overwhelmingly cluttered, messy, and unkempt will definitely affect my productivity level for the day/week/month! So I want to learn ways to prevent being unproductive. Today I read this article
http://stress.about.com/od/stressmanagementtools/a/time_management.htm. I googled "Time Management for Moms" because, lets face it, we all have 24 hours in a day, but we don't all have 4 children 6 years and under. I enjoyed reading it and brainstorming (while I cleaned my bathroom) ways to put each into practice. They are nuggets I've known before, but not really thought about...

• Simply being organized can eliminate stress
• So today, I organized. Dave had the day off, I let him deal with the babies. We didn't have school, so I took my time organizing and cleaning as I went. Bigger task than I expected!
• being organized with your schedule, with your house and with your discipline strategy is one of the best time management tips I can give you.
• This is something I will be sitting down and writing out tonight. I used to have a written schedule, but we got WAY away from it... I may be pulling that back out.
• DELEGATE
• There is another article that I will be reading tomorrow about creative ways to delegate tasks to others in your house. One thing I've learned in the last few months is this: Complaining does not mean asking! I want to really work on asking for help instead of stomping my feet, raising my voice and throwing a fit!
•  Pair mindless tasks with focus-dependent ones when it’s appropriate.
• Sounds fun!!!
•  it’s important to look at your priorities and learn to say no to time demands that aren’t absolutely necessary.
• I have a newborn that needs me. He needs to just be held, talked to, and cuddled. It is down time that is important. I don't want a clean house, organized school days, and a scheduled day at the expense of missing out on seeing my kids grow up.
• Take Shortcuts
• I like this... again, another article to read on this one... I may be reading that one soon!
• When you don’t have to worry about reinventing the wheel each week (“What haven’t we eaten in a while?” “When was this floor last mopped?” “When is the last time we…?”), your mind is free to focus on the rest of your day, and the time it takes to plan these things each week is freed as well.
• Again, a written schedule... I love this!
•   Having a rhythm for your day but a time cushion and some backup plans can take the stress out of the unexpected, and keep one schedule hiccup from throwing off your whole day (or week).
• Aha! Back up plans... as opposed to having NO food to feed your family when you drop all of dinner on the bottom of your very neglected, unclean oven... not that I've ever done that (ok, I did it TONIGHT!)
• When we’re tired or haven’t had enough healthy food to function at our best, we’re often less productive and organized, and this lack of clarity can translate into more time wasted throughout the day and less time available to get everything done that needs doing.
• Noted!

And let me add a few more things... 1. (which I failed to do today because I woke up late, due to a wonderful hubby who let me sleep in on his last day of Christmas vacation!WHAT A GUY!) I think its important to start your day off with some God. Worship music, or devotional reading, or prayer, or Bible Reading, or all of the above! It just makes things go smoother, or at least you can have the patience when they don't!
Secondly, I think for me, getting up and getting going is the key. If I get up and sit around on the couch and watch tv, I will lack the motivation I need. I need to get up, and get going on the things of the day. Rest can come in the afternoon.
So.. the end of day 2. I stayed away from Facebook, I organized, cleaned, and plan on doing a little bit of Birthday party prep before my bedtime of 10pm!
So far, so good.... But then again, its just day 2!

Productive Sunday; An Oxymoron!

What does a productive Sunday look like? As long as we get to church dressed and on time, I've accomplished much for the day!
I believe in a day of rest. And as a Pastor's wife, Sundays aren't always a day of rest. However, after our church duties are over, the day is mine to lounge, nap, and lounge some more. There aren't many things on my "to do" list. However, to have a good Sunday, my Saturday's must be ultra-productive. Dave leaves on Sunday mornings at 9am. That usually leaves me an hour and 15 min to get all four dressed, and to church on time. So I need those Saturdays to iron clothes, have my Kids' Church activities read through, put together, and ready to go. So to have a productive Sunday, I MUST have a productive Saturday. And I've learned that the hard way.
Today? Today was AWESOME! Dave didn't have Sunday school, so our goal was to leave for our 1min commute by 10am. Dave made breakfast (its our anniversary), he dressed one of the babies, I dressed (and cleaned poo off his back) the other baby, and we were on time, in good moods, and ready for the lessons for the day. As for the rest of the day. I plan on taking a nap, maybe doing a quick clean up later (or making the kids do it), and enjoying my family... Productive Sunday? Definately an oxymoron... Sundays are for rest... productive rest! Enjoy, my friends, and take a nap just because! Mine will begin soon!

Get it together, Woman!

Today is the last day of 2011! Tomorrow starts a new day, a new year, a new task! I plan on taking a 31 day journey in the month of January to become more productive. I'll be researching, putting things into practice, learning by trial and error, and hopefully coming out a more productive person for the year 2012!
So, today, this last day of the year, I need to get this house clean, my Sunday school materials ready, my kids bathed, their clothes laid out and ready to begin a new year filled with less stress, less disorganization, less unproductive-ness... but I have no motivation. I wanted to do all this yesterday, even the day before that... well, really every day since the day after Christmas... but I find myself lounging, putting it off, putting it off... and then putting it off. I don't want that anymore. I want it to be done!

I've been living the life of a mom with a newborn. Sleep when he sleeps (except, I do have THREE other kids that don't sleep on a newborn's schedule). I was up many times a night, up early, up late... my life was a blurr... but I'm over that now. I don't want to live that way again, I'm ready for a life of productivity! I NEED a life of productivity. I am a homeschooler, a mom of a preschooler,a mother of an infant, in ministry with my husband, and a wife... I don't want to neglect any of those roles. So I'm not going to! I'm going to learn to be productive...
Wanna join me? What do you want to learn, gain, change? Take a 31 day challenge with me. Use the next 31 days to learn a new craft, gain wisdom in an area you may be lacking, work at changing an area of your life... I'd love to learn from you, maybe even read along for another 31 day challenge for myself another month!
Here's what you do... Pick your topic, start TOMORROW, research it, put things into practice, find out what works for you, what doesn't. Get inspiration from blogs, friends, self help books and then blog about the journey (or make a note in Facebook about it) each day. The goal is to focus on change on a daily basis, and by the end of 31 days see that change in your life. Whether it be to be healthier, thinner, smarter, craftier, or more organized. I will first try to be more productive... Starting tomorrow!
You with me?

My Littlest man...

Meet my littlest man... He's already 3months old. But Nathanael Paul Ciske was born September 19th! His birth was the best one yet! I was so nervous since I had to be put under and wasn't awake for Ruby's birth, I had been praying for 9 mo that this birth would go smoother. The spinal man had that spinal in in under 10 min! I was so happy! I made sure to listen to everything, to praise God a LOT, and to soak it all in! It was marvelous.
Nate is my one and only child that nurses. He takes bottles, but is a great nurser as well. I finally can say I've nursed at least one baby! And honestly, I love it one day, hate it another... but I love it more than I hate it, cuz I'm still doing it!
He is now cooing and smiling and laughing and I love it! He's very happy and for the most part an easy baby. He has his fussy moments at night.. but he's the 4th, he's the last, he can get away with all those things!
I could go on and on, and I wish I would have been keeping up with the blog, but I must confess, going from 3-4 kids has been a bit harder than I expected. So finding time to get on to blog is hard... but stay tuned (if anyone was ever really "tuned in") come January, I plan to blog every day... more on that later!

"I'm not done with you yet"

I'm not always sure why God calls people to certain tasks, occupations, or seasons in life. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I was called to be a mommy. I felt it early in life. I wanted to just be a wife and mom. When Dave and I got married it was one of the main things we focused on. Living so that I could some day follow this calling and be a stay at home mom. We've made it a priority, sacrificed the "added" things, done without what others would think are "must haves" and we've made it work... because God has helped equip me for this calling.
In the last few years God has added to this calling and I felt very strongly that He wanted me to homeschool. I have my reasons for believing this, and that is for another blog entry. Just know that I feel the decision to homeschool my kids came out of much prayer... many sleepless nights of prayer, and an answered prayer.
I feel called. Some are called to be doctors, some are called to be pastors, some are called to be counsellors... I was called to be a homeschooler.
That being said, there are days, like today, that I stop and ask God, "Are you sure? I'm not being very patient... I'm not teaching the way they understand. I'm not organized today... wouldn't they be better off in the school up the street, I can walk them there RIGHT NOW!"
Because we are currently struggling (with TWO in school, teaching and giving proper attention to each one of their needs, excelling where need be, slowing down in other areas... PLUS having Ruby run wild unsupervised... maybe struggling isn't the word!). I decided I needed more time. I can't wake up after the kids, take my time with breakfast, drag my feet cleaning up, and eventually start school. I need more "God" time. So I've been getting up earlier. Even if its 15min before the kids. I need to talk to God.
So this morning, with a clean, all sleeping  house, I rise. I spend 45 min in Bible study and prayer. I pray over each member asleep in my home. I covered the school day, the routine, the lessons... I was good to go!
Then school started. Ruby got into her highchair and played with beans. She poured from one container to another, had spoons to dish beans out... ate one or two (yuck, they aren't cooked!) and had her snack in her chair. I got all of Math, and language arts out of the way. It was the perfect example of the perfect homeschool situation.
Ruby got down, Lily transitioned to activity time, and Zech moved on to Science. Then I am pretty sure God stripped the calling to homeschool away... What? You don't believe me? There's no way after what happened within the next hour, that God was still calling ME to homeschool. Zech whined about every single little word he had to read or write. He answered "I don't know" to every question, even when I threw in "What is your name?" I grew more impatient with every whine and stomp of the foot.
Ruby was too quiet so I go check on her to find her with the toilet bowl brush (get ready to gag...) IN HER MOUTH! She had obviously been cleaning the toilets, the floor was wet, she was wet, and well... I was GAGGING! I hand sanitized her entire body! Punished her, cleaned the floors, scrubbed her mouth, and tried to go on to art.
Lily didn't want to clean up activities, but wanted to do art. I told her to make a decision (art isn't worth the fight for me... she was doing other educational things, but the mess needs to be contained... one project at a time!) She threw such a massive fit I had to send her to her room. Where I started Art with Zech. He listened to the lesson, but again answered every question with "I don't know". Growing even MORE impatient, I let my frustrations show... a tad too much! I stopped teaching and told him his assignment. To which both Zech and the now recovered Lily proceeded to pretend to listen only to do their own thing when they got their papers.
After a quick reprimand, and lecture of listening and obeying, following the directions. I went back to the unfinished science. Lily moved on to silent reading... and you probably would never guess that Ruby went BACK to cleaning the toilet AGAIN. This time dragging the brush (that I put up on the counter, in the bathroom where I SHUT The door before) all around the house... with toilet water dripping from it! (praise God that I cleaned that toilet late last night... not that it means its completely sanitary, but its better than a couple days worth of... well you know!) Between that, and Zech's complaint of every word he had to write, read, or think... I was done. I don't want to homeschool. Its not working for us! I'm frustrated. The house is destroyed, the kids are unhappy...
God, WHY did you call me to this life? I suck royally at it!
But you know that in all things I work for the good of those who love me, who have been called according to MY purpose.
Yeah, but, God... do you see the mess I'm making here. Are they learning when there is so much crying, and interruptions, and from a teacher who is about to scream? I'm not good enough for them.
be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

The days may not go perfect, but this is my calling. I'm not perfect, the one who called me is. I press on to win the prize. This prize may not be given anytime soon (although getting things more "together" would be nice before Nate arrives!). But my blessings come from listening and obeying God's word. He's called me, I will obey. So the homeschool journey continues. I do love it so! Just when I feel I'm going to sink, God throws out His lifeline... no, let me rephrase that... Just when I feel I'm going to sink, God points out the lifeline he's already given me when he called me! I just need to not look down, keep pressing on.
Today's reminder came when I cuddled up with Ruby (who got in so much trouble today for being a 20 month old unsupervised) to read her a story I just happened to grab from the messy bookshelf...

Let me quote an entire book... Not sure if its legal, but I just must... Hermie, A common Caterpillar by Max Lucado
Hermie was a common caterpillar. He didn't have stripes, and he didn't have spots. He ate common leaves and squirmed through common grass. Hermie was just a common caterpillar.

But Hermie did one thing that was not common. He talked to God. Hermie and his friend, Wormie would ask God, "Why did you make us so common?"
 God would answer, "I love you, Hermie and Wormie. But I'm not finished with you yet. I'm giving you a heart like Mine." So they felt better, until they met an ant carrying a big pine cone.

"WOW!" Wormie said. "How do you carry such a heavy load?" "God made me strong," replied the ant.
Hermie and Wormie felt sad. They asked God, "Why can't we be strong like the ant?"
God's answer was kind. "I love you just the way you are. But I'm not finished with you yet."

So they felt better, until one rainy day when they saw a snail.
"You need a house like I have," The snail said. "Its dry in here."
Hermie and Wormie wondered why God hadn't given them a cozy house like the snail's. God reminded them, "Be patient, Hermie and Wormie. I am not finished with you yet."

That made Hermie and Wormie feel much better... until they saw the ladybug.
"You have such pretty spots!" Said Hermie.
"Beautiful!" Wormie agreed.
"You are very kind," the shy ladybug replied. "But this is the way God made me."

That night Hermie prayed. "we're sorry, God, but we don't understand why you made us so..."
"Common?" God said, "Don't worry. I 'm not finished with you yet. I'm giving you a heart like Mine."
Hermie turned to his friend and yawned. "I'm feeling very, very sleepy."
"Then let's make you a soft, comfy bed," Wormie suggested.

As Hermie drifted off to sleep in his soft bed, he thought about what God had said, and he prayed: "You know, god, its okay that I'm a common caterpillar. You love me, and that makes me special."

That night Hermie had a funny dream. He dreamed he was special like the ant, the snail, and the ladybug.

When Hermie woke up, it was dark. he was covered from head to toe. What had happened to his bed? As he squirmed to get out it began to fall and crack open. But-- wait-- he felt a tickle on his back...

Suddenly, soft wings fluttered open! With hardly any effort, Hermie began to fly. Up and Up, higher and higher, he soared over the trees.
As Hermie flapped his new wings, he began to understand what God had been telling him. He wasn't like the ant... or the snail... or the ladybug. He was Hermie-- a beautiful butterfly with a beautiful heart.
Hermie had to tell Wormie the good news.

"Look, Wormie!" Hermie called out.
"WOW! Is that really you, Hermie?"
"Yes, its me! God wasn't finished with me, Wormie. And he is not finished with you, either!"
Wormie's smile grew bigger and bigger. Now he understood, too.

You can get this book at www.hermieandfriends.com

He's not finished with me yet! My kids will learn. I will will get it all together... someday! And through it all, not only do I get the benefits of watching my kids survice this journey, but I get a heart like HIS! Let it be, Lord, Let it be!

What if...

Last year I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to teach Zech how to read. He knew his letter sounds and how to piece a few sounds together, but wasn't reading at all. I was terrified. I read everything I could on "HOW" to teach reading. Then I took a deep breath and did the A Beka curriculum. He caught on quickly and excelled! Today, a year later, he is insulted when I give him books "under" his reading level. I am constantly pulling out books, looking up their reading levels and giving him 1 book that is easy, or under his reading level, one that is right about a 2nd grade reading level, and then one challenging book. These are usually end of 2nd grade or beginning 3rd grade levels and are MUCH longer. He can read flawlessly until about 10 min into the book, then wants to quit. So although the words may not be a challenge, the reading required to finish the book is.

What if I decided that because he is such a great reader I would just stop teaching him anymore phonics, told him he didn't need books, and never mentioned him reading again. Although he may be happy about this, I am thinking that by 4th grade, he'd be WAY behind. By Jr. High, he'd be failing all other subjects that require reading. By Highschool, he'd give up all together and probably drop out. The emotional toll of being illiterate would overcome him and he'd be a High School drop out. That can't read, so he can't get a job, and he'd be living in my house... FOREVER... not much fun!

Now, what if you went to church one day, was taught about the wonderful things Christ did for you (Came from a cozy seat next to God, the father, to be a human, with human limitations, was mocked, ignored, then eventually beaten and hung on a cross for doing nothing at all to do die for YOUR sins and offer you eternal life with him in heaven!). You learn about this man, you accept it. You excel in "knowledge". But then assume you know all you need to know and leave it at that.
You no longer pick up The Book to read. You no longer attend church to learn. You no longer even talk about the man that did those wonderful things for you so long ago. Where would you be? An illiterate Christian. You'd be WAY behind. And eventually drop out!

If you stopped reading at age 6, never to read again, would you even be considered a "reader" 10 years later? You may have some reading knowledge, but you definitely would be lacking. Imagine all you'd miss out on. The blessings of the way a book can spark your imagination. The blessings of getting and keeping a job. The blessing of reading the world around you.

If you stopped growing as a Christian within a year of your salvation, never to go back and act out a life of this Christianity, would you even be considered a "Christian" years later? You may have some "christian" knowledge, but you definitely would be lacking. Imagine all you'd miss out on. The blessing of the way The Book (the Bible) enhances your life, sparking a spiritual renewal on a regular basis. The blessings of hearing God's calling in your life, and living out those divine appointments. The blessing of living in a world around you  with God as your tour guide. 

Once Zech tasted and saw how freeing reading was, he became eager to keep reading. He wants to know more, to grow in his vocabulary, to understand more and more. He loves the freedom he has to order off his own menu, read road signs as we travel, pick any book he is interested in and learn from it... all because he didn't stop just because he learned the basics of reading. He continues to grow. Fostering this skill every day through reading, learning, and listening.

Once we've tasted and seen that the Lord is good, we should be eager to keep learning. We need to want to know  more, to grow in His love, to understand more and more. We have freedom to know what God would have for our life, because we've learned how to live in His presence. We gain interest as He opens new doors and shines a fresh light on parts of our lives. We can't just get saved... we need to continue to grow! Fostering this relationship with Christ through reading, learning and listening.

You would never have stopped reading just because you knew all the letter sounds... don't stop with your salvation just because you learned what he did for you. There is SO much more. Imagine a life without being able to read... Life without Christ is WORSE than that, You can't even imagine the difference this relationship can make. Love him more today than you did yesterday... more tomorrow than you do today!

Our first day of school

Today was the day. We moved up our start date a few week. The kids were getting anxious, and I need something to occupy my mind as I wait for Nate to arrive.

My kids are homeschooled. They live about 5 blocks from a brick and mortar school. They see school buses pass on a regular basis. All the neighborhood kids go to the school up the street. They have a small desire to join those kids (Lily more than Zech). So although I understand their desire, I have explained to them that this is Daddy and My decision. I do however give them things that they believe makes "GOING" to school so cool. Backpacks is one of them. No, homeschoolers do not need backpacks. They don't take their work anywhere, they don't bring back notes from their teachers, or carry books around. But its a simple request made by homeschool kids that this momma can fulfill. So they got backpacks... and an added little fun treat from momma as well.

Another thing my kids love is to have their lunches packed. They really enjoy eating out of tupperware and lunch boxes instead of plates. And by packing a lunch the night before or as I make breakfast it really does make the day go by more smoothly. Ruby especially loved her lunch box (that we got free!) and the idea of pulling food out of it to eat... wherever she wanted (well, at one of the three tables we have, or on the kitchen floor).

And one of the MAJOR things each kid as desired was to ride the bus to school. Funny thing is, that even if they were to attend the public school up the street, they would be walking. The bus won't pick kids up that live blocks away. So once that notion was out of their mind, they are happy to be homeschooled. To only have to go half days, to still go on outings, and to be together. They love it... BUT, I did let them "walk" to school today. They sported their backpacks out the back door, around to the front and circled the church parking lot, then walked in the front door as Kindergartener and 1st grader.

Lily is my 2nd entering Kindergarten. It was a hard decision to make. She could have waited until next year. But she is so smart. And catches on to whatever I am teaching Zech. It seemed silly to hold her back just because of a few months of her age. We did decide that she will attend all classes outside of school as a 4 year old. But there was no need to hold her back academically. Our biggest concern was where she would place if ever she were to go to public school. But after Dave and I prayed about it, we realized that was not our goal, nor was it something we felt God calling us to. So we decided to take that off the table. We're committed to homeschooling for the long haul. And one of the many perks is that we can meet each child where they are academically regardless of age or "grade". So, there she is. My KINDERGARTENER! (if she wasn't so obsessed with the title, I wouldn't give any of my kids grades, I'd just teach as they learned... but that's one of the compromises I'm willing to make for them!)

Once the kids came inside, we started our day. We did circle time first. This was their favorite thing last year, but this year they wanted to rush through it and get right to the "Work" part. Who would have thought these kids LIKE worksheets and seat work! Forget hands on learning... they wanted to get their new school supplies (which most was not new, but reused from last year) and get to "work".

Ruby was ALL OVER THE PLACE!

She didn't like the attention the others were getting. She wanted to bang on pots and pans. When I took the pots away, she proceeded to hit her brother in the head with the spoon! She pulled Lily's hair to get her attention. She wrote on their papers if I gave her some "work" of her own... so tomorrow, she'll be buckled into her highchair. God gave me MANY opportunities to practice patience today. I hope she does better tomorrow.

All in all, the day went great. The house was still standing at the end. Zech ended up complaining at the end because he just wanted to be done (we only had 2.5 hours of school today!) and there was some crying with Lily and her handwriting lesson (those 'S' es can be tricky... too bad there's one in CISKE!) But I was happy to say I had much more patience with her than I did with Zech! (I also am taking into consideration that she is FOUR and still struggles with small motor skills, as opposed to Zech who was 5.5 when he started!).

Here are my "students" Adorable, aren't they?

Once school was over, and lunch had been devoured, I sent them all to nap and rest time and I crashed. I was exhausted. And I slept wonderfully! Now, to do it all over again tomorrow! I love this journey!

Just a tiny glimpse!

I am down to 6 weeks left of my pregnancy. For the most part, I am doing well. I have felt good, I've kept up (barely, but I've managed)... and now, I'm exhausted. I'm having back pain if I stand for too long, if I sit for too long, if I lay on the couch, if I don't roll over at night every 2 hours... its hurting. I'm tired, I feel heavy. Nate is big, and still moving around as if he has all the space in the world. I feel pressure, then I don't. I have contractions... just ONE shy of heading into the Labor and Delivery... I'm ready to be done. But I still have 6 weeks (well, technically, to my due date, I have 8 weeks, but we will safely deliver 2 weeks early).
There is a part of me when I am sitting with top notch pain in my back that wants to just be done. I want my water to just spontaneously break and be rushed in to be relieved... but that is a VERY small part of me, the over all majority of me, the part that knows how bad that first part would be knows that Nate is not ready. He may be measuring big. He may be flipping and dropping and causing momma to be restless, but he's not mature enough. he's too young. So knowing that its my comfort or his health, I would endure this pain for years more... for a life time if it meant he gets to be healthy!
And this made me realize that although my pain is not even close to the pain Jesus felt on that cross, it is a glimpse into the type of sacrifice Jesus made for us.
I would do anything for my children. I've had pain in pregnancy before. I've experienced pain even as I was getting a c-section (maybe not hours and hours of labor, but pretty intense pain when the spinal is not going well), but I did it again... and again... and plan on doing it yet AGAIN... its a sacrifice I make for my children. I've had babies sit on my sciatic nerve making it very hard to move without crying out in pain... but I didn't abort them for my comfort. I endured. Women will go through 48+ hours of hard labor to deliver their babies... then do it again a couple of years later. We make sacrifices (for the next 18 years)... like I said, nothing compared to being beaten and mocked and eventually hanging on a tree to die... but its a glimpse.
A glimpse given to us to understand the type of sacrifice Christ went through in order to give us life. The intense back pain he must have felt. Not just getting whipped, and torn apart by the type of whips used... but to then expose that bloody damaged back to a splintery rough tree for hours!
The excrusiating pain he felt each time he moved to catch a breath (and if you've had girls who like to plant themselves high in your rib cage you have a glimpse into how it is to gasp for your breath).
Its not the same. Not by a long shot... but we catch a small tiny glimpse into the love it takes for a person to endure such pain and discomfort. We are human, it is impossible to love the way God loves. But when we give birth to our beautiful children and we love them with all that is within us we never stop and think "You are not worth all that pain I went through!" NEVER. Some of us look down, then look up at our husbands and say "lets do it again!" (I literally did this last time... I WON'T be doing it this time... but the love is still the same!)
Jesus looks at us, even when we aren't those cute innocent babies and says "You were so worth it!" YOU WERE SO WORTH IT! The sacrifice he made to give us life was big. And he did it with you in mind.
I've shared my story about how I feel each one of my children had a place in our family even before I knew what order they'd come. I just could picture each one as part of my life. And each one has never disappointed me... Jesus saw you long before you saw him, and longed for you to be part of his family. He may not have endured 9mo on that cross, but the pain and agony he endured that day was a lifetime of our sins. And we were so worth it!
I thank God for the tiny tiny glimpse into what it takes to sacrifice. And I thank Him even more for enduring that sacrifice for me... and I'm no cute little baby!

Drop by... I dare you!

I'm an organized person... well, at least I WANT to be an organized person. I like routine, I love to plan, I adore lists! But as life has gone by, I find it harder and harder to get the clutter, the toys, the LIFE we live contained in the proper bins!
When not pregnant, when I have more energy, and mobility I have a better plan. I can get the house clean first thing in the morning and get on with our day... nowadays I find that when I wake up, I want to go lay on the couch for just a few more zzzs. I see the clock at 8am and think "Laundry will still be there in 30 min!" And then its 10 and I'm dragging my feet to find an activity to occupy the kids. So keeping my house clean, decluttered, and organized is too overwhelming at times.
BUT... I am about to have FOUR children! I'm about to homeschool a 1st grader, a kindergartener, entertain a 2 year old and keep a newborn alive! I NEED that organization, routine, and plan!
So, for a week now, I've done it. I have a daily routine, a weekly plan, and a clean house! I've shared my routine before with a few, but lately (like the last 8.5 months) I've been a hypocrit. I am a lot of talk (and wishful, and WANTed a clean house) but inside my house was constanlty in disaray. I was mortified when people dropped by. When neighbors saw inside while we stood outside to talk. I was embarassed if my in-laws dropped by from church and saw what a complete slob I was. But now! This week, at least, I have it all together! I've worked hard, my husband is working hard, and the family is learning the new way of life!
And of course, as I wake and go to bed to a clean house, no one seems to drop by anymore... So drop by, I dare you!

And for those of you who want to see what this schedule is... (yes, I am bragging, but if you felt as accomplished as I do, you'd brag too!)
First rule: Go to bed to a clean house! That means you wake up to a clean house!
When I wake up I tell Dave to take a load of laundry down. I'd like to say, I ask him, but in reality, I tell him. Maybe when I can carry a basket safely down the stairs (and I don't have a huge belly) I will do this, for now the first thing I say to my husband is which basket to carry down for me.
Then I go down and start a load of laundry, and in reality restart the dryer from the load I forgot the night before... we're still getting there.
Then (if I don't sit down to blog first) I unload our dishwasher that we ran after dinner last night. This makes it easy to clean up after our meals throughout the day. Seems simple, but I was piling dishes in the sink a LOT before... so silly!
And I clean up after breakfast. By now the kids have already strewn toys all over the living room... but drop by anyway, I DO have 3 kids, and I have to be realistic.
At 10, I announce that we are going to do a quick clean sweep. The kids pick up their toys, pick up their rooms, and grab themselves a snack (its just goes well together!). I go down and switch the laundry around and pick one small chore to takle (See weekly plan).
At lunch time, the kids eat while I check the laundry again (this is HUGE for me, I have really been sucking in the laundry field lately!!) and begin folding a basket (and hopefully putting it away!). I like to eat when the kids go to bed, so I do this while they are eating. And I takle one more small chore from the weekly plan.
They go to rest time, I clean up their lunch and plop on the couch for my lunch and nap... hey, I get to have a daily nap while I'm pregnant... and for sometime after baby is born! hehe.
3:30 we pick up again, this usually only takes 5-10 min because we've already picked up once, AND we are all learning to pick up as we go (the kids learn by mom hovering over them and saying "Are you done with that? PUT IT AWAY!!!"). I run the vacuum and sweeper on the hardwood, wipe down the counter tops and while I'm at it, I may start the dinner prep. I am trying to have this be a "noise and toys" (phrase I learned from my sister) in the bedroom time. So that no toys make their way back into the living room, and I can actually hear about my husband's day without straining!
My goal is to have a clean house when Dave comes home. Then whatever messes are made after that point are 50% his fault! :)
Then we make sure to clean up after dinner, load and start the dishwasher, and wipe down the counters.
Once the kids go to bed, we look over the 2 front rooms, pick up where needed, and we are free to sit and enjoy our time together. I then usually only have ONE basket of clothing to fold, and Dave helps me put it away. (I put that last part in faith... Dave WILL help me put it away!).
It seems simple, and once we got it down, it WAS easy... but getting there was harder than I thought! And we have some problem areas that need to be squeezed in, but it keeps me from feeling like I am cleaning all day every day only to be embarrassed when a friend comes down for a cup of sugar!

**I do weekly chores throughout the week...
Monday: bedding, load of kid laundry, bathrooms
Tuesday: Mop, 2 loads of laundry, dust
Wednesday: straighten Master bedroom, 2 loads of laundry
Thursday: Bathrooms (including tub)
Friday: Declutter, finish any undone laundry
Saturday & Sunday: keep up with daily chores
And I have one weekly project... like cleaning the computer desk, organizing the school stuff, straightening closets, and eventually maybe I will just LIVE in a state of organization and won't need my lists... although I do love my lists!

Only 10 more weeks!!!

I'm pregnant. I'm HUGELY pregnant... and I'm okay with that! I actually love it again.
When I was pregnant the first time, it was so easy. I loved watching my belly grow... and grow... and grow. I loved the attention that drew, and the waddle I aquired.
When I was pregnant the second time, I was busy. I barely recognized I was pregnant, until one day I realized how HUGE my belly was, and the comments began. We moved to Wisconsin 3 weeks before my due date and I could hear my sister in law in the other room on the phone say "She's SO HUGE" and I actually smiled with pride.
When I was pregnant with the third child, I HATED IT! I was so scared the entire pregnancy. I was uncomfortable, and when people made comments about how huge my belly was I was just NOT in the mood.
Now that I am pregnant with our fourth child, I am in that maternal bliss again. I'm not sure if its because its my last child, last pregnancy (or so I feel God and I have an agreement its the last), or if its because I started off being pregnant with my first little boy, and now I am pregnant with my last little boy. I'm not sure if I feel so great because I see my three other kids so excited to see this big ole belly, and to meet their new brother! Or maybe the fact that I feel SO GREAT is the reason I love being pregnant this time! Whatever the reason, I feel so blessed.
He moves constantly. I am not sure if he never sleeps, or if he is just a mover while he sleeps, but he started making his presence known early and constant! And I love every part of it! I will miss entire shows while I watch my belly make waves.
I am down to 2 pair of pants that fit. My belly is bigger than ever. I carry low so I get comments like "WOW, you've dropped, your ready to pop at any moment" And that was at 5mo. I get looks when I waddle across the baseball grandstands to take pictures of Zech's baseball game. Looks of sympathy, looks of "She looks miserable", looks of complete shock when they find out I have 10 more weeks to go. (and technically, I have 12 weeks, but we should be having him 2 weeks early). But I love it. This is what my body does. I have big babies, I have a tilted uterus that pokes out early and large, and I never gain more than 20lbs. I love the total transformation my body goes through. Its a constant reminder of how AMAZING God is.
I have NO energy... but that may not be a pregnancy thing as much as a "mom of an active 18mo old" thing... either way, I get tired, hot, and irritated quickly... but God is showing me how to use the fruits of the spirit in the midst of trying circumstances. So in some ways I love this stage I am going through. I am learning. But its still really hot!
I can not roll over in bed without sitting completely up... or getting on all fours and crawling into a new position. But I smile and laugh at how funny I must look. I am just loving being pregnant. When I can't sleep, I imagine how this baby will look. How will I feel when they put my last baby on my chest to hold for the first time? I invision myself nursing with ease (wishful thinking, perhaps), caressing his hair (again, wishful thinking that he'll have hair!), and keeping him all to myself (or from the harm his siblings could cause) and I cherish this time of having him all to myself safe and protected inside.
I love this pregnancy. I love this baby!
And I love that from this point on, my family will be complete. We will get to raise them and watch them grow into what God has for them. And as much as I love it, I am looking forward to never being pregnant again (remember, God, we had this agreement!).
But for now... for this moment. I am loving this huge huge HUGE belly, however low it gets (I mean, come on I can't even sit with my legs closed anymore!). I am enjoying the kids' enthusiasm, and the alien type movements my belly is experiencing... I love being pregnant... for the last time.

Nathanael Paul

We have always "planned" our kids. And by "planned" I mean, we prayed about starting a family, or adding to it and we stopped preventing pregnancies, figured out fertile times and purposely "did married things" to produce a baby. The first time took a little longer than expected, but after that when we felt it was time to add to our family we asked God, and "tried" and was pregnant fairly easily...Except this last time.
I'm a planner. When we got married we thought we'd have 2-4 kids (I always, ALWAYS thought 4) and we definately knew we'd have a Zechariah, a Lily, and a Nathanael. I thought the last one would be the surprise and we'd come up with her name at some point... but in my heart, I felt a place for these 4 children.
So when Zech came, I had no doubt he was my Zech. I even had a personality that I felt fit him. We were SO thrilled to welcome our first son. In my head, I figured the boys would be first. But as soon as I took the pregnancy test with my 2nd child, I told Dave, THIS ONE IS A GIRL! By the 3rd, we thought we'd be done and that that would mean that baby HAD to be Nate. When we saw that she was a girl, I was thrilled. It never crossed my mind that we didn't have a nate. We had a Ruby and she was perfect. But instantly I had a longing for another child. I told Dave in the hospital, about 12 hours after having Ruby that I wanted one more. He laughed blamed hormones and said we'd talk about it later.
About 6months ago (give or take a few weeks), I heard a sermon and a story within the sermon was about a woman who became pregnant again after she thought she was done. She was thrilled, but considered it an "interruption". She went on to explain how her husband figured it would happen since he always saw himself with 3 boys... The story really had NOTHING to do with the main point of the sermon, but it caused such a reaction in me I had to leave the room. I bowed before God and asked what he was telling me.
I came home that day, went to my loving husband and said "I think God has a Nate for our family. I know it sounds crazy and VERY specific, but Nate belongs in our family, I know I am not done with our family yet." My husband, who was pretty close to being done, no matter what I said, didn't even hesitate and said "yea, okay." Shocked by his quick response, I said to him "What if I am wrong, and we try to have a baby and its a girl. We can't just keep having kids. How do I reconcile what I feel God is saying with the fact that this COULD mean we have one more girl, not a Nate at all?" And my godly man said back to me, "We leave it to God."
We were not going to prevent a pregnancy, but we weren't going to go crazy plotting temperatures, or cycle dates, or any other odd methods we had heard of. And within 6weeks I was pregnant (OF COURSE!)
My godly man of faith would not even consider girl names he was so convinced it was a boy. I really felt like it was, but had to keep in mind that there is a 50% chance of anything I said being wrong! But I knew what I felt God was saying to me.
This morning I prayed... "Help me reconcile the desire, and the longing for this Nate, if this is a girl with still deciding we are done having kids."
We go in today to see what we are having... and wouldn't God's faithfulness be well... faithful... its a boy! Nathanael Paul will join our family!
Not only have I married the man of my dreams, gone into full time minstry as I felt God calling, got to be a stay at home mom, who homeschools because God called me to do so... but he gives me the 4 children I wanted, blesses me with all the children we thought we'd ever had, and now, he gives me my Nate. God has blessed me with my fairy tale life... I'm not the most perfect person in the world... FAR FROM IT! But God blesses me over and over and over and over!
I would have been perfectly fine with a little Eva Rose, but when God speaks, and we leave it to him to do his thing, the blessings abound. I just amazed at how I feel like he continues to bless even when I am less than faithful, more than a sinner, and a weary child of God. I can't explain it... I just have to say GOD IS SO GOOD!

The Myths of Motherhood

I've read the last "What I wish I knew before I had kids" article. I think some are funny, and they use exageration in a very funny way... but why so negative?
Yes, moms talk a lot about poop. Yes, we get snot blown on us by the occasional sneeze, yes, we are sleep deprived, and sometimes loopy because of it. But anyone can focus on the negatives only of any one blessing and  make it sound horrible.
So, maybe I can be the one blogger that clears up some of the "Myths" of motherhood...

Myth #1: All we ever talk about is Poop! No, we talk about what CAUSES the poop, too. As a mom, we're concerned with EVERY aspect of these bundles of joy. We make sure all the food groups are presented, then we realize what foods cause what "stuff" to come out... and alter accordingly. We do it because we've been given this huge honor to raise these little babies, and food... and poo is part of that.

Myth #2: You will loathe your children... yes, this was in more than one of those "mommy blogs". I was shocked to think that some moms loathe their children... but I think this is said more as a way to be humourous... I hope. So, here's the deal. You will get SUPER frustrated. When you mop the floor and within seconds turn around to see cake smeared across the floor,  you get frustrated. When your potty training and the child just keeps pooping in their undies (oops, am I talking about poo again?), you are ready to sit in the snow to cool off... or when you've been up for the 18th time in one night, you just might yell "SHUT UP!" to your 6mo old from the kitchen... but you love them. You love them more than you can ever imagine. You'd do anything for them. You may grit your teeth as you mop, wipe up, and cuddle that never ending crying baby, but you love them with something so deep within you that you could never in a million years express. This doesn't mean you want to be around them AT. ALL. TIMES. But you miss them every minute your away. Its just what comes along with motherhood... and its AWESOME!

Myth #3: Going out will never be the same... oh wait! That one isn't a myth. You will never go out to eat the same again. Either you've hauled your kids out, or you've worked for weeks to line up a baby sitter, written a list, just to go out alone with your husband for ONE hour! And when your out, even if you try, the kids and whether they are being good for the sitter is always in the back of your mind... No, this one is NOT a myth!... however, never before has it been so fun to stay home on a saturday night! They are just THAT worth it. (

Myth #4: Nothing You do will ever be good enough... Sure people give you advice, and sure you question your parenting skills on a regular basis... but that tiny baby, that 2 year old shadow, or that 5 year old kindergartener thinks you are the best! They love you when you've let them fall off the couch at 2 months old. They love you when you fail to give them PBJ for the 18th day in a row... and they REALLY love you if you do! They love you when you go to pick them up from school, and even when you drop them off. You can do no wrong... now, I don't have kids over the age of 5, so I'm not sure if this is true when they are 10, 12, 16... but deep down, they know you love them, right?

Myth #5: Your kids will own you! This does not HAVE to be true! Sure, you can let them parent, and set the rules, and manipulate you, and I do agree your priorities change, your lifestyle changes... but they dont' OWN you! they are YOUR children, raise them accordingly. This part is up to you. Children want leadership, they want parents. Its our job to be that parent.

I love my kids. I love motherhood, heck, I've made a career out of it! And I can't really say that its all glamourous, but I can say I enjoy my life and Motherhood has changed me for the better! (That being said as my 1 year old BITES my toe!) And I would hope that all moms to be would be filled with hope as they begin this journey, not fearful of all the horror stories... Motherhood is a blessing! Its not easy, its not always kind to our bodies, or our faces, or our fashion... but it does far more to our inner selves, far more than I have words to describe. Its pure joy! I just can't say much more! Its pure Joy!!!

And the Line is THERE!!!!

About 6 weeks ago, I had this odd inner feeling. I didn't even know how to explain it to Dave, but I just decided to go check under the bathroom sink to see if there was a left over pregnancy test. I've never been one that feels I HAVE to take multiple tests to confirm what the first test says, so I figured since last time we bought a package with a "FREE TEST" in it, I'd have one. I got up early, took the test... stared at the test... nothing... then wait, what was that, is that a tiny pink line? No, I'm just seeing things, maybe the energy saver light bulb hasn't gotten to its brightest spot yet... Oh, no, its there, its turing pink... And there ya had it, staring me back in the face was the number 4! (well, not really, it was just a little faint pink line, but it was screaming FOUR!!! FOUR KIDS!!! FOURTH BABY! at me).
I went and got Dave up, had him squint his eyes and tell me if I was seeing things or not... he saw it right away and said "Ok, then God, no problem" then looked at me with stern eyes and said "WE ARE DONE!" (well, not really STERN, more of a half smirk, and laugh). He knows I'm super fertile, so I think he wasn't surprised at all. Probably more excited about this being a definately LAST and that he would forever shut me up about the conversation of having more. "Should we, Dave?"
I am SUPERDY DUPERDY excited! I am a tad bit shocked at how much love one person can have in their heart. I mean, I love this bean, I'm pretty attached, and he (or if God is THAT funny) she has had so many prayers already prayed over him (uh huh, or her) that IT is definately attached to this family! I am pleased that I was equally excited about each pregnancy. I really thought the wonder of it all would wear off by the time you've had this many... but I am still in total awe of what God is doing, and how sometimes I feel like he does it all just for me!
A few months back I began praying. Before I even mentioned it to Dave. I felt this strong draw that our family wasn't complete. That there was still this one particular kid that belonged in this family. When I mentioned it to Dave, he nodded his head and said "Well, lets pray about that." And within months (no more than 2) here we are. So I have no doubt in my mind that God has mighty plans for this Nathanael Paul, or Nora Rose (this may change, IF it really is a girl... I've said these words before... and got the girl, I am very aware of that!). This baby is a Ciske through and through, and God heard my prayers and surprised me with a huge blessing!
So, if you'd continue to pray for a happy healthy next 6 months, I would appreciate it!