I am down to 6 weeks left of my pregnancy. For the most part, I am doing well. I have felt good, I've kept up (barely, but I've managed)... and now, I'm exhausted. I'm having back pain if I stand for too long, if I sit for too long, if I lay on the couch, if I don't roll over at night every 2 hours... its hurting. I'm tired, I feel heavy. Nate is big, and still moving around as if he has all the space in the world. I feel pressure, then I don't. I have contractions... just ONE shy of heading into the Labor and Delivery... I'm ready to be done. But I still have 6 weeks (well, technically, to my due date, I have 8 weeks, but we will safely deliver 2 weeks early).
There is a part of me when I am sitting with top notch pain in my back that wants to just be done. I want my water to just spontaneously break and be rushed in to be relieved... but that is a VERY small part of me, the over all majority of me, the part that knows how bad that first part would be knows that Nate is not ready. He may be measuring big. He may be flipping and dropping and causing momma to be restless, but he's not mature enough. he's too young. So knowing that its my comfort or his health, I would endure this pain for years more... for a life time if it meant he gets to be healthy!
And this made me realize that although my pain is not even close to the pain Jesus felt on that cross, it is a glimpse into the type of sacrifice Jesus made for us.
I would do anything for my children. I've had pain in pregnancy before. I've experienced pain even as I was getting a c-section (maybe not hours and hours of labor, but pretty intense pain when the spinal is not going well), but I did it again... and again... and plan on doing it yet AGAIN... its a sacrifice I make for my children. I've had babies sit on my sciatic nerve making it very hard to move without crying out in pain... but I didn't abort them for my comfort. I endured. Women will go through 48+ hours of hard labor to deliver their babies... then do it again a couple of years later. We make sacrifices (for the next 18 years)... like I said, nothing compared to being beaten and mocked and eventually hanging on a tree to die... but its a glimpse.
A glimpse given to us to understand the type of sacrifice Christ went through in order to give us life. The intense back pain he must have felt. Not just getting whipped, and torn apart by the type of whips used... but to then expose that bloody damaged back to a splintery rough tree for hours!
The excrusiating pain he felt each time he moved to catch a breath (and if you've had girls who like to plant themselves high in your rib cage you have a glimpse into how it is to gasp for your breath).
Its not the same. Not by a long shot... but we catch a small tiny glimpse into the love it takes for a person to endure such pain and discomfort. We are human, it is impossible to love the way God loves. But when we give birth to our beautiful children and we love them with all that is within us we never stop and think "You are not worth all that pain I went through!" NEVER. Some of us look down, then look up at our husbands and say "lets do it again!" (I literally did this last time... I WON'T be doing it this time... but the love is still the same!)
Jesus looks at us, even when we aren't those cute innocent babies and says "You were so worth it!" YOU WERE SO WORTH IT! The sacrifice he made to give us life was big. And he did it with you in mind.
I've shared my story about how I feel each one of my children had a place in our family even before I knew what order they'd come. I just could picture each one as part of my life. And each one has never disappointed me... Jesus saw you long before you saw him, and longed for you to be part of his family. He may not have endured 9mo on that cross, but the pain and agony he endured that day was a lifetime of our sins. And we were so worth it!
I thank God for the tiny tiny glimpse into what it takes to sacrifice. And I thank Him even more for enduring that sacrifice for me... and I'm no cute little baby!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Drop by... I dare you!
I'm an organized person... well, at least I WANT to be an organized person. I like routine, I love to plan, I adore lists! But as life has gone by, I find it harder and harder to get the clutter, the toys, the LIFE we live contained in the proper bins!
When not pregnant, when I have more energy, and mobility I have a better plan. I can get the house clean first thing in the morning and get on with our day... nowadays I find that when I wake up, I want to go lay on the couch for just a few more zzzs. I see the clock at 8am and think "Laundry will still be there in 30 min!" And then its 10 and I'm dragging my feet to find an activity to occupy the kids. So keeping my house clean, decluttered, and organized is too overwhelming at times.
BUT... I am about to have FOUR children! I'm about to homeschool a 1st grader, a kindergartener, entertain a 2 year old and keep a newborn alive! I NEED that organization, routine, and plan!
So, for a week now, I've done it. I have a daily routine, a weekly plan, and a clean house! I've shared my routine before with a few, but lately (like the last 8.5 months) I've been a hypocrit. I am a lot of talk (and wishful, and WANTed a clean house) but inside my house was constanlty in disaray. I was mortified when people dropped by. When neighbors saw inside while we stood outside to talk. I was embarassed if my in-laws dropped by from church and saw what a complete slob I was. But now! This week, at least, I have it all together! I've worked hard, my husband is working hard, and the family is learning the new way of life!
And of course, as I wake and go to bed to a clean house, no one seems to drop by anymore... So drop by, I dare you!
And for those of you who want to see what this schedule is... (yes, I am bragging, but if you felt as accomplished as I do, you'd brag too!)
First rule: Go to bed to a clean house! That means you wake up to a clean house!
When I wake up I tell Dave to take a load of laundry down. I'd like to say, I ask him, but in reality, I tell him. Maybe when I can carry a basket safely down the stairs (and I don't have a huge belly) I will do this, for now the first thing I say to my husband is which basket to carry down for me.
Then I go down and start a load of laundry, and in reality restart the dryer from the load I forgot the night before... we're still getting there.
Then (if I don't sit down to blog first) I unload our dishwasher that we ran after dinner last night. This makes it easy to clean up after our meals throughout the day. Seems simple, but I was piling dishes in the sink a LOT before... so silly!
And I clean up after breakfast. By now the kids have already strewn toys all over the living room... but drop by anyway, I DO have 3 kids, and I have to be realistic.
At 10, I announce that we are going to do a quick clean sweep. The kids pick up their toys, pick up their rooms, and grab themselves a snack (its just goes well together!). I go down and switch the laundry around and pick one small chore to takle (See weekly plan).
At lunch time, the kids eat while I check the laundry again (this is HUGE for me, I have really been sucking in the laundry field lately!!) and begin folding a basket (and hopefully putting it away!). I like to eat when the kids go to bed, so I do this while they are eating. And I takle one more small chore from the weekly plan.
They go to rest time, I clean up their lunch and plop on the couch for my lunch and nap... hey, I get to have a daily nap while I'm pregnant... and for sometime after baby is born! hehe.
3:30 we pick up again, this usually only takes 5-10 min because we've already picked up once, AND we are all learning to pick up as we go (the kids learn by mom hovering over them and saying "Are you done with that? PUT IT AWAY!!!"). I run the vacuum and sweeper on the hardwood, wipe down the counter tops and while I'm at it, I may start the dinner prep. I am trying to have this be a "noise and toys" (phrase I learned from my sister) in the bedroom time. So that no toys make their way back into the living room, and I can actually hear about my husband's day without straining!
My goal is to have a clean house when Dave comes home. Then whatever messes are made after that point are 50% his fault! :)
Then we make sure to clean up after dinner, load and start the dishwasher, and wipe down the counters.
Once the kids go to bed, we look over the 2 front rooms, pick up where needed, and we are free to sit and enjoy our time together. I then usually only have ONE basket of clothing to fold, and Dave helps me put it away. (I put that last part in faith... Dave WILL help me put it away!).
It seems simple, and once we got it down, it WAS easy... but getting there was harder than I thought! And we have some problem areas that need to be squeezed in, but it keeps me from feeling like I am cleaning all day every day only to be embarrassed when a friend comes down for a cup of sugar!
**I do weekly chores throughout the week...
Monday: bedding, load of kid laundry, bathrooms
Tuesday: Mop, 2 loads of laundry, dust
Wednesday: straighten Master bedroom, 2 loads of laundry
Thursday: Bathrooms (including tub)
Friday: Declutter, finish any undone laundry
Saturday & Sunday: keep up with daily chores
And I have one weekly project... like cleaning the computer desk, organizing the school stuff, straightening closets, and eventually maybe I will just LIVE in a state of organization and won't need my lists... although I do love my lists!
When not pregnant, when I have more energy, and mobility I have a better plan. I can get the house clean first thing in the morning and get on with our day... nowadays I find that when I wake up, I want to go lay on the couch for just a few more zzzs. I see the clock at 8am and think "Laundry will still be there in 30 min!" And then its 10 and I'm dragging my feet to find an activity to occupy the kids. So keeping my house clean, decluttered, and organized is too overwhelming at times.
BUT... I am about to have FOUR children! I'm about to homeschool a 1st grader, a kindergartener, entertain a 2 year old and keep a newborn alive! I NEED that organization, routine, and plan!
So, for a week now, I've done it. I have a daily routine, a weekly plan, and a clean house! I've shared my routine before with a few, but lately (like the last 8.5 months) I've been a hypocrit. I am a lot of talk (and wishful, and WANTed a clean house) but inside my house was constanlty in disaray. I was mortified when people dropped by. When neighbors saw inside while we stood outside to talk. I was embarassed if my in-laws dropped by from church and saw what a complete slob I was. But now! This week, at least, I have it all together! I've worked hard, my husband is working hard, and the family is learning the new way of life!
And of course, as I wake and go to bed to a clean house, no one seems to drop by anymore... So drop by, I dare you!
And for those of you who want to see what this schedule is... (yes, I am bragging, but if you felt as accomplished as I do, you'd brag too!)
First rule: Go to bed to a clean house! That means you wake up to a clean house!
When I wake up I tell Dave to take a load of laundry down. I'd like to say, I ask him, but in reality, I tell him. Maybe when I can carry a basket safely down the stairs (and I don't have a huge belly) I will do this, for now the first thing I say to my husband is which basket to carry down for me.
Then I go down and start a load of laundry, and in reality restart the dryer from the load I forgot the night before... we're still getting there.
Then (if I don't sit down to blog first) I unload our dishwasher that we ran after dinner last night. This makes it easy to clean up after our meals throughout the day. Seems simple, but I was piling dishes in the sink a LOT before... so silly!
And I clean up after breakfast. By now the kids have already strewn toys all over the living room... but drop by anyway, I DO have 3 kids, and I have to be realistic.
At 10, I announce that we are going to do a quick clean sweep. The kids pick up their toys, pick up their rooms, and grab themselves a snack (its just goes well together!). I go down and switch the laundry around and pick one small chore to takle (See weekly plan).
At lunch time, the kids eat while I check the laundry again (this is HUGE for me, I have really been sucking in the laundry field lately!!) and begin folding a basket (and hopefully putting it away!). I like to eat when the kids go to bed, so I do this while they are eating. And I takle one more small chore from the weekly plan.
They go to rest time, I clean up their lunch and plop on the couch for my lunch and nap... hey, I get to have a daily nap while I'm pregnant... and for sometime after baby is born! hehe.
3:30 we pick up again, this usually only takes 5-10 min because we've already picked up once, AND we are all learning to pick up as we go (the kids learn by mom hovering over them and saying "Are you done with that? PUT IT AWAY!!!"). I run the vacuum and sweeper on the hardwood, wipe down the counter tops and while I'm at it, I may start the dinner prep. I am trying to have this be a "noise and toys" (phrase I learned from my sister) in the bedroom time. So that no toys make their way back into the living room, and I can actually hear about my husband's day without straining!
My goal is to have a clean house when Dave comes home. Then whatever messes are made after that point are 50% his fault! :)
Then we make sure to clean up after dinner, load and start the dishwasher, and wipe down the counters.
Once the kids go to bed, we look over the 2 front rooms, pick up where needed, and we are free to sit and enjoy our time together. I then usually only have ONE basket of clothing to fold, and Dave helps me put it away. (I put that last part in faith... Dave WILL help me put it away!).
It seems simple, and once we got it down, it WAS easy... but getting there was harder than I thought! And we have some problem areas that need to be squeezed in, but it keeps me from feeling like I am cleaning all day every day only to be embarrassed when a friend comes down for a cup of sugar!
**I do weekly chores throughout the week...
Monday: bedding, load of kid laundry, bathrooms
Tuesday: Mop, 2 loads of laundry, dust
Wednesday: straighten Master bedroom, 2 loads of laundry
Thursday: Bathrooms (including tub)
Friday: Declutter, finish any undone laundry
Saturday & Sunday: keep up with daily chores
And I have one weekly project... like cleaning the computer desk, organizing the school stuff, straightening closets, and eventually maybe I will just LIVE in a state of organization and won't need my lists... although I do love my lists!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Only 10 more weeks!!!
I'm pregnant. I'm HUGELY pregnant... and I'm okay with that! I actually love it again.
When I was pregnant the first time, it was so easy. I loved watching my belly grow... and grow... and grow. I loved the attention that drew, and the waddle I aquired.
When I was pregnant the second time, I was busy. I barely recognized I was pregnant, until one day I realized how HUGE my belly was, and the comments began. We moved to Wisconsin 3 weeks before my due date and I could hear my sister in law in the other room on the phone say "She's SO HUGE" and I actually smiled with pride.
When I was pregnant with the third child, I HATED IT! I was so scared the entire pregnancy. I was uncomfortable, and when people made comments about how huge my belly was I was just NOT in the mood.
Now that I am pregnant with our fourth child, I am in that maternal bliss again. I'm not sure if its because its my last child, last pregnancy (or so I feel God and I have an agreement its the last), or if its because I started off being pregnant with my first little boy, and now I am pregnant with my last little boy. I'm not sure if I feel so great because I see my three other kids so excited to see this big ole belly, and to meet their new brother! Or maybe the fact that I feel SO GREAT is the reason I love being pregnant this time! Whatever the reason, I feel so blessed.
He moves constantly. I am not sure if he never sleeps, or if he is just a mover while he sleeps, but he started making his presence known early and constant! And I love every part of it! I will miss entire shows while I watch my belly make waves.
I am down to 2 pair of pants that fit. My belly is bigger than ever. I carry low so I get comments like "WOW, you've dropped, your ready to pop at any moment" And that was at 5mo. I get looks when I waddle across the baseball grandstands to take pictures of Zech's baseball game. Looks of sympathy, looks of "She looks miserable", looks of complete shock when they find out I have 10 more weeks to go. (and technically, I have 12 weeks, but we should be having him 2 weeks early). But I love it. This is what my body does. I have big babies, I have a tilted uterus that pokes out early and large, and I never gain more than 20lbs. I love the total transformation my body goes through. Its a constant reminder of how AMAZING God is.
I have NO energy... but that may not be a pregnancy thing as much as a "mom of an active 18mo old" thing... either way, I get tired, hot, and irritated quickly... but God is showing me how to use the fruits of the spirit in the midst of trying circumstances. So in some ways I love this stage I am going through. I am learning. But its still really hot!
I can not roll over in bed without sitting completely up... or getting on all fours and crawling into a new position. But I smile and laugh at how funny I must look. I am just loving being pregnant. When I can't sleep, I imagine how this baby will look. How will I feel when they put my last baby on my chest to hold for the first time? I invision myself nursing with ease (wishful thinking, perhaps), caressing his hair (again, wishful thinking that he'll have hair!), and keeping him all to myself (or from the harm his siblings could cause) and I cherish this time of having him all to myself safe and protected inside.
I love this pregnancy. I love this baby!
And I love that from this point on, my family will be complete. We will get to raise them and watch them grow into what God has for them. And as much as I love it, I am looking forward to never being pregnant again (remember, God, we had this agreement!).
But for now... for this moment. I am loving this huge huge HUGE belly, however low it gets (I mean, come on I can't even sit with my legs closed anymore!). I am enjoying the kids' enthusiasm, and the alien type movements my belly is experiencing... I love being pregnant... for the last time.
When I was pregnant the first time, it was so easy. I loved watching my belly grow... and grow... and grow. I loved the attention that drew, and the waddle I aquired.
When I was pregnant the second time, I was busy. I barely recognized I was pregnant, until one day I realized how HUGE my belly was, and the comments began. We moved to Wisconsin 3 weeks before my due date and I could hear my sister in law in the other room on the phone say "She's SO HUGE" and I actually smiled with pride.
When I was pregnant with the third child, I HATED IT! I was so scared the entire pregnancy. I was uncomfortable, and when people made comments about how huge my belly was I was just NOT in the mood.
Now that I am pregnant with our fourth child, I am in that maternal bliss again. I'm not sure if its because its my last child, last pregnancy (or so I feel God and I have an agreement its the last), or if its because I started off being pregnant with my first little boy, and now I am pregnant with my last little boy. I'm not sure if I feel so great because I see my three other kids so excited to see this big ole belly, and to meet their new brother! Or maybe the fact that I feel SO GREAT is the reason I love being pregnant this time! Whatever the reason, I feel so blessed.
He moves constantly. I am not sure if he never sleeps, or if he is just a mover while he sleeps, but he started making his presence known early and constant! And I love every part of it! I will miss entire shows while I watch my belly make waves.
I am down to 2 pair of pants that fit. My belly is bigger than ever. I carry low so I get comments like "WOW, you've dropped, your ready to pop at any moment" And that was at 5mo. I get looks when I waddle across the baseball grandstands to take pictures of Zech's baseball game. Looks of sympathy, looks of "She looks miserable", looks of complete shock when they find out I have 10 more weeks to go. (and technically, I have 12 weeks, but we should be having him 2 weeks early). But I love it. This is what my body does. I have big babies, I have a tilted uterus that pokes out early and large, and I never gain more than 20lbs. I love the total transformation my body goes through. Its a constant reminder of how AMAZING God is.
I have NO energy... but that may not be a pregnancy thing as much as a "mom of an active 18mo old" thing... either way, I get tired, hot, and irritated quickly... but God is showing me how to use the fruits of the spirit in the midst of trying circumstances. So in some ways I love this stage I am going through. I am learning. But its still really hot!
I can not roll over in bed without sitting completely up... or getting on all fours and crawling into a new position. But I smile and laugh at how funny I must look. I am just loving being pregnant. When I can't sleep, I imagine how this baby will look. How will I feel when they put my last baby on my chest to hold for the first time? I invision myself nursing with ease (wishful thinking, perhaps), caressing his hair (again, wishful thinking that he'll have hair!), and keeping him all to myself (or from the harm his siblings could cause) and I cherish this time of having him all to myself safe and protected inside.
I love this pregnancy. I love this baby!
And I love that from this point on, my family will be complete. We will get to raise them and watch them grow into what God has for them. And as much as I love it, I am looking forward to never being pregnant again (remember, God, we had this agreement!).
But for now... for this moment. I am loving this huge huge HUGE belly, however low it gets (I mean, come on I can't even sit with my legs closed anymore!). I am enjoying the kids' enthusiasm, and the alien type movements my belly is experiencing... I love being pregnant... for the last time.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Nathanael Paul
We have always "planned" our kids. And by "planned" I mean, we prayed about starting a family, or adding to it and we stopped preventing pregnancies, figured out fertile times and purposely "did married things" to produce a baby. The first time took a little longer than expected, but after that when we felt it was time to add to our family we asked God, and "tried" and was pregnant fairly easily...Except this last time.
I'm a planner. When we got married we thought we'd have 2-4 kids (I always, ALWAYS thought 4) and we definately knew we'd have a Zechariah, a Lily, and a Nathanael. I thought the last one would be the surprise and we'd come up with her name at some point... but in my heart, I felt a place for these 4 children.
So when Zech came, I had no doubt he was my Zech. I even had a personality that I felt fit him. We were SO thrilled to welcome our first son. In my head, I figured the boys would be first. But as soon as I took the pregnancy test with my 2nd child, I told Dave, THIS ONE IS A GIRL! By the 3rd, we thought we'd be done and that that would mean that baby HAD to be Nate. When we saw that she was a girl, I was thrilled. It never crossed my mind that we didn't have a nate. We had a Ruby and she was perfect. But instantly I had a longing for another child. I told Dave in the hospital, about 12 hours after having Ruby that I wanted one more. He laughed blamed hormones and said we'd talk about it later.
About 6months ago (give or take a few weeks), I heard a sermon and a story within the sermon was about a woman who became pregnant again after she thought she was done. She was thrilled, but considered it an "interruption". She went on to explain how her husband figured it would happen since he always saw himself with 3 boys... The story really had NOTHING to do with the main point of the sermon, but it caused such a reaction in me I had to leave the room. I bowed before God and asked what he was telling me.
I came home that day, went to my loving husband and said "I think God has a Nate for our family. I know it sounds crazy and VERY specific, but Nate belongs in our family, I know I am not done with our family yet." My husband, who was pretty close to being done, no matter what I said, didn't even hesitate and said "yea, okay." Shocked by his quick response, I said to him "What if I am wrong, and we try to have a baby and its a girl. We can't just keep having kids. How do I reconcile what I feel God is saying with the fact that this COULD mean we have one more girl, not a Nate at all?" And my godly man said back to me, "We leave it to God."
We were not going to prevent a pregnancy, but we weren't going to go crazy plotting temperatures, or cycle dates, or any other odd methods we had heard of. And within 6weeks I was pregnant (OF COURSE!)
My godly man of faith would not even consider girl names he was so convinced it was a boy. I really felt like it was, but had to keep in mind that there is a 50% chance of anything I said being wrong! But I knew what I felt God was saying to me.
This morning I prayed... "Help me reconcile the desire, and the longing for this Nate, if this is a girl with still deciding we are done having kids."
We go in today to see what we are having... and wouldn't God's faithfulness be well... faithful... its a boy! Nathanael Paul will join our family!
Not only have I married the man of my dreams, gone into full time minstry as I felt God calling, got to be a stay at home mom, who homeschools because God called me to do so... but he gives me the 4 children I wanted, blesses me with all the children we thought we'd ever had, and now, he gives me my Nate. God has blessed me with my fairy tale life... I'm not the most perfect person in the world... FAR FROM IT! But God blesses me over and over and over and over!
I would have been perfectly fine with a little Eva Rose, but when God speaks, and we leave it to him to do his thing, the blessings abound. I just amazed at how I feel like he continues to bless even when I am less than faithful, more than a sinner, and a weary child of God. I can't explain it... I just have to say GOD IS SO GOOD!
I'm a planner. When we got married we thought we'd have 2-4 kids (I always, ALWAYS thought 4) and we definately knew we'd have a Zechariah, a Lily, and a Nathanael. I thought the last one would be the surprise and we'd come up with her name at some point... but in my heart, I felt a place for these 4 children.
So when Zech came, I had no doubt he was my Zech. I even had a personality that I felt fit him. We were SO thrilled to welcome our first son. In my head, I figured the boys would be first. But as soon as I took the pregnancy test with my 2nd child, I told Dave, THIS ONE IS A GIRL! By the 3rd, we thought we'd be done and that that would mean that baby HAD to be Nate. When we saw that she was a girl, I was thrilled. It never crossed my mind that we didn't have a nate. We had a Ruby and she was perfect. But instantly I had a longing for another child. I told Dave in the hospital, about 12 hours after having Ruby that I wanted one more. He laughed blamed hormones and said we'd talk about it later.
About 6months ago (give or take a few weeks), I heard a sermon and a story within the sermon was about a woman who became pregnant again after she thought she was done. She was thrilled, but considered it an "interruption". She went on to explain how her husband figured it would happen since he always saw himself with 3 boys... The story really had NOTHING to do with the main point of the sermon, but it caused such a reaction in me I had to leave the room. I bowed before God and asked what he was telling me.
I came home that day, went to my loving husband and said "I think God has a Nate for our family. I know it sounds crazy and VERY specific, but Nate belongs in our family, I know I am not done with our family yet." My husband, who was pretty close to being done, no matter what I said, didn't even hesitate and said "yea, okay." Shocked by his quick response, I said to him "What if I am wrong, and we try to have a baby and its a girl. We can't just keep having kids. How do I reconcile what I feel God is saying with the fact that this COULD mean we have one more girl, not a Nate at all?" And my godly man said back to me, "We leave it to God."
We were not going to prevent a pregnancy, but we weren't going to go crazy plotting temperatures, or cycle dates, or any other odd methods we had heard of. And within 6weeks I was pregnant (OF COURSE!)
My godly man of faith would not even consider girl names he was so convinced it was a boy. I really felt like it was, but had to keep in mind that there is a 50% chance of anything I said being wrong! But I knew what I felt God was saying to me.
This morning I prayed... "Help me reconcile the desire, and the longing for this Nate, if this is a girl with still deciding we are done having kids."
We go in today to see what we are having... and wouldn't God's faithfulness be well... faithful... its a boy! Nathanael Paul will join our family!
Not only have I married the man of my dreams, gone into full time minstry as I felt God calling, got to be a stay at home mom, who homeschools because God called me to do so... but he gives me the 4 children I wanted, blesses me with all the children we thought we'd ever had, and now, he gives me my Nate. God has blessed me with my fairy tale life... I'm not the most perfect person in the world... FAR FROM IT! But God blesses me over and over and over and over!
I would have been perfectly fine with a little Eva Rose, but when God speaks, and we leave it to him to do his thing, the blessings abound. I just amazed at how I feel like he continues to bless even when I am less than faithful, more than a sinner, and a weary child of God. I can't explain it... I just have to say GOD IS SO GOOD!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Myths of Motherhood
I've read the last "What I wish I knew before I had kids" article. I think some are funny, and they use exageration in a very funny way... but why so negative?
Yes, moms talk a lot about poop. Yes, we get snot blown on us by the occasional sneeze, yes, we are sleep deprived, and sometimes loopy because of it. But anyone can focus on the negatives only of any one blessing and make it sound horrible.
So, maybe I can be the one blogger that clears up some of the "Myths" of motherhood...
Myth #1: All we ever talk about is Poop! No, we talk about what CAUSES the poop, too. As a mom, we're concerned with EVERY aspect of these bundles of joy. We make sure all the food groups are presented, then we realize what foods cause what "stuff" to come out... and alter accordingly. We do it because we've been given this huge honor to raise these little babies, and food... and poo is part of that.
Myth #2: You will loathe your children... yes, this was in more than one of those "mommy blogs". I was shocked to think that some moms loathe their children... but I think this is said more as a way to be humourous... I hope. So, here's the deal. You will get SUPER frustrated. When you mop the floor and within seconds turn around to see cake smeared across the floor, you get frustrated. When your potty training and the child just keeps pooping in their undies (oops, am I talking about poo again?), you are ready to sit in the snow to cool off... or when you've been up for the 18th time in one night, you just might yell "SHUT UP!" to your 6mo old from the kitchen... but you love them. You love them more than you can ever imagine. You'd do anything for them. You may grit your teeth as you mop, wipe up, and cuddle that never ending crying baby, but you love them with something so deep within you that you could never in a million years express. This doesn't mean you want to be around them AT. ALL. TIMES. But you miss them every minute your away. Its just what comes along with motherhood... and its AWESOME!
Myth #3: Going out will never be the same... oh wait! That one isn't a myth. You will never go out to eat the same again. Either you've hauled your kids out, or you've worked for weeks to line up a baby sitter, written a list, just to go out alone with your husband for ONE hour! And when your out, even if you try, the kids and whether they are being good for the sitter is always in the back of your mind... No, this one is NOT a myth!... however, never before has it been so fun to stay home on a saturday night! They are just THAT worth it. (
Myth #4: Nothing You do will ever be good enough... Sure people give you advice, and sure you question your parenting skills on a regular basis... but that tiny baby, that 2 year old shadow, or that 5 year old kindergartener thinks you are the best! They love you when you've let them fall off the couch at 2 months old. They love you when you fail to give them PBJ for the 18th day in a row... and they REALLY love you if you do! They love you when you go to pick them up from school, and even when you drop them off. You can do no wrong... now, I don't have kids over the age of 5, so I'm not sure if this is true when they are 10, 12, 16... but deep down, they know you love them, right?
Myth #5: Your kids will own you! This does not HAVE to be true! Sure, you can let them parent, and set the rules, and manipulate you, and I do agree your priorities change, your lifestyle changes... but they dont' OWN you! they are YOUR children, raise them accordingly. This part is up to you. Children want leadership, they want parents. Its our job to be that parent.
I love my kids. I love motherhood, heck, I've made a career out of it! And I can't really say that its all glamourous, but I can say I enjoy my life and Motherhood has changed me for the better! (That being said as my 1 year old BITES my toe!) And I would hope that all moms to be would be filled with hope as they begin this journey, not fearful of all the horror stories... Motherhood is a blessing! Its not easy, its not always kind to our bodies, or our faces, or our fashion... but it does far more to our inner selves, far more than I have words to describe. Its pure joy! I just can't say much more! Its pure Joy!!!
Yes, moms talk a lot about poop. Yes, we get snot blown on us by the occasional sneeze, yes, we are sleep deprived, and sometimes loopy because of it. But anyone can focus on the negatives only of any one blessing and make it sound horrible.
So, maybe I can be the one blogger that clears up some of the "Myths" of motherhood...
Myth #1: All we ever talk about is Poop! No, we talk about what CAUSES the poop, too. As a mom, we're concerned with EVERY aspect of these bundles of joy. We make sure all the food groups are presented, then we realize what foods cause what "stuff" to come out... and alter accordingly. We do it because we've been given this huge honor to raise these little babies, and food... and poo is part of that.
Myth #2: You will loathe your children... yes, this was in more than one of those "mommy blogs". I was shocked to think that some moms loathe their children... but I think this is said more as a way to be humourous... I hope. So, here's the deal. You will get SUPER frustrated. When you mop the floor and within seconds turn around to see cake smeared across the floor, you get frustrated. When your potty training and the child just keeps pooping in their undies (oops, am I talking about poo again?), you are ready to sit in the snow to cool off... or when you've been up for the 18th time in one night, you just might yell "SHUT UP!" to your 6mo old from the kitchen... but you love them. You love them more than you can ever imagine. You'd do anything for them. You may grit your teeth as you mop, wipe up, and cuddle that never ending crying baby, but you love them with something so deep within you that you could never in a million years express. This doesn't mean you want to be around them AT. ALL. TIMES. But you miss them every minute your away. Its just what comes along with motherhood... and its AWESOME!
Myth #3: Going out will never be the same... oh wait! That one isn't a myth. You will never go out to eat the same again. Either you've hauled your kids out, or you've worked for weeks to line up a baby sitter, written a list, just to go out alone with your husband for ONE hour! And when your out, even if you try, the kids and whether they are being good for the sitter is always in the back of your mind... No, this one is NOT a myth!... however, never before has it been so fun to stay home on a saturday night! They are just THAT worth it. (
Myth #4: Nothing You do will ever be good enough... Sure people give you advice, and sure you question your parenting skills on a regular basis... but that tiny baby, that 2 year old shadow, or that 5 year old kindergartener thinks you are the best! They love you when you've let them fall off the couch at 2 months old. They love you when you fail to give them PBJ for the 18th day in a row... and they REALLY love you if you do! They love you when you go to pick them up from school, and even when you drop them off. You can do no wrong... now, I don't have kids over the age of 5, so I'm not sure if this is true when they are 10, 12, 16... but deep down, they know you love them, right?
Myth #5: Your kids will own you! This does not HAVE to be true! Sure, you can let them parent, and set the rules, and manipulate you, and I do agree your priorities change, your lifestyle changes... but they dont' OWN you! they are YOUR children, raise them accordingly. This part is up to you. Children want leadership, they want parents. Its our job to be that parent.
I love my kids. I love motherhood, heck, I've made a career out of it! And I can't really say that its all glamourous, but I can say I enjoy my life and Motherhood has changed me for the better! (That being said as my 1 year old BITES my toe!) And I would hope that all moms to be would be filled with hope as they begin this journey, not fearful of all the horror stories... Motherhood is a blessing! Its not easy, its not always kind to our bodies, or our faces, or our fashion... but it does far more to our inner selves, far more than I have words to describe. Its pure joy! I just can't say much more! Its pure Joy!!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
And the Line is THERE!!!!
About 6 weeks ago, I had this odd inner feeling. I didn't even know how to explain it to Dave, but I just decided to go check under the bathroom sink to see if there was a left over pregnancy test. I've never been one that feels I HAVE to take multiple tests to confirm what the first test says, so I figured since last time we bought a package with a "FREE TEST" in it, I'd have one. I got up early, took the test... stared at the test... nothing... then wait, what was that, is that a tiny pink line? No, I'm just seeing things, maybe the energy saver light bulb hasn't gotten to its brightest spot yet... Oh, no, its there, its turing pink... And there ya had it, staring me back in the face was the number 4! (well, not really, it was just a little faint pink line, but it was screaming FOUR!!! FOUR KIDS!!! FOURTH BABY! at me).
I went and got Dave up, had him squint his eyes and tell me if I was seeing things or not... he saw it right away and said "Ok, then God, no problem" then looked at me with stern eyes and said "WE ARE DONE!" (well, not really STERN, more of a half smirk, and laugh). He knows I'm super fertile, so I think he wasn't surprised at all. Probably more excited about this being a definately LAST and that he would forever shut me up about the conversation of having more. "Should we, Dave?"
I am SUPERDY DUPERDY excited! I am a tad bit shocked at how much love one person can have in their heart. I mean, I love this bean, I'm pretty attached, and he (or if God is THAT funny) she has had so many prayers already prayed over him (uh huh, or her) that IT is definately attached to this family! I am pleased that I was equally excited about each pregnancy. I really thought the wonder of it all would wear off by the time you've had this many... but I am still in total awe of what God is doing, and how sometimes I feel like he does it all just for me!
A few months back I began praying. Before I even mentioned it to Dave. I felt this strong draw that our family wasn't complete. That there was still this one particular kid that belonged in this family. When I mentioned it to Dave, he nodded his head and said "Well, lets pray about that." And within months (no more than 2) here we are. So I have no doubt in my mind that God has mighty plans for this Nathanael Paul, or Nora Rose (this may change, IF it really is a girl... I've said these words before... and got the girl, I am very aware of that!). This baby is a Ciske through and through, and God heard my prayers and surprised me with a huge blessing!
So, if you'd continue to pray for a happy healthy next 6 months, I would appreciate it!
I went and got Dave up, had him squint his eyes and tell me if I was seeing things or not... he saw it right away and said "Ok, then God, no problem" then looked at me with stern eyes and said "WE ARE DONE!" (well, not really STERN, more of a half smirk, and laugh). He knows I'm super fertile, so I think he wasn't surprised at all. Probably more excited about this being a definately LAST and that he would forever shut me up about the conversation of having more. "Should we, Dave?"
I am SUPERDY DUPERDY excited! I am a tad bit shocked at how much love one person can have in their heart. I mean, I love this bean, I'm pretty attached, and he (or if God is THAT funny) she has had so many prayers already prayed over him (uh huh, or her) that IT is definately attached to this family! I am pleased that I was equally excited about each pregnancy. I really thought the wonder of it all would wear off by the time you've had this many... but I am still in total awe of what God is doing, and how sometimes I feel like he does it all just for me!
A few months back I began praying. Before I even mentioned it to Dave. I felt this strong draw that our family wasn't complete. That there was still this one particular kid that belonged in this family. When I mentioned it to Dave, he nodded his head and said "Well, lets pray about that." And within months (no more than 2) here we are. So I have no doubt in my mind that God has mighty plans for this Nathanael Paul, or Nora Rose (this may change, IF it really is a girl... I've said these words before... and got the girl, I am very aware of that!). This baby is a Ciske through and through, and God heard my prayers and surprised me with a huge blessing!
So, if you'd continue to pray for a happy healthy next 6 months, I would appreciate it!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Farts and School
We aren't ones to discuss flatulent acts here at the Ciske home. We don't promote it, encourage it, or talk about it... but it happens. FARTS happen!
Recently for a reading lesson we played a varied version of "Scrabble Slam". I would make easy 3 letter words for Lily to read quickly, then change the easy word to a "harder" word that Zech could sound out. Then with the final cards in my hand I noticed I could spell the word "FART" So I laid it down and told Lily it was a "Challenge word" (she's 4 remember?) So she begins to sound it out. FFFFFAAARRRRTTTT! She begins laughing hysterically and Zech yells FART! We all laughed we even sang a rhyming song for the word "Art, Smart, Cart, wonderific its terrific, Part, Mart, Dart, Wonderific its terrific FART!" The kids were rolling on the floor, I was laughing, it was a GREAT reading/rhyming lesson!
For the rest of the week, I could contain the "toot" talk, and we went on with our lives. Today though the kids wanted something special for breakfast. I searched the cabinet and offered them a granola bar. Then realized it was a Fiber One granola bar. So I warned them that it may make them toot more, or have to go potty a lot. (which is what we need for one of them... don't you know moms think about their children's regularity). When school started today was just about the time the fiber one bars began their work in Lily.
She in one room, Zech in another as I TRIED to teach him lessons on subtraction. She passes gas, he giggles. I ignored. But it got too much for him to handle. I told him he needed to get control or he'd be sent to him room prolonging the end of school. He ended up in his room. Only to return to crack up laughing when he opened his mouth.
Again to his room. Came back in opened his mouth to answer a problem only to find that laughter spilled out. Who knew toots were so so hilarious. Eventually I gave up, sent him to his desk to finish a stack of worksheets (some of which we usually do as part of the lesson). He diligently works, comes back for a quick check of his papers. When I send him back to make some corrections, he begins to complain. So I tell him "Just imagine your sister FARTING"... he finished his work as he laughed.
School has to be fun, right?
Recently for a reading lesson we played a varied version of "Scrabble Slam". I would make easy 3 letter words for Lily to read quickly, then change the easy word to a "harder" word that Zech could sound out. Then with the final cards in my hand I noticed I could spell the word "FART" So I laid it down and told Lily it was a "Challenge word" (she's 4 remember?) So she begins to sound it out. FFFFFAAARRRRTTTT! She begins laughing hysterically and Zech yells FART! We all laughed we even sang a rhyming song for the word "Art, Smart, Cart, wonderific its terrific, Part, Mart, Dart, Wonderific its terrific FART!" The kids were rolling on the floor, I was laughing, it was a GREAT reading/rhyming lesson!
For the rest of the week, I could contain the "toot" talk, and we went on with our lives. Today though the kids wanted something special for breakfast. I searched the cabinet and offered them a granola bar. Then realized it was a Fiber One granola bar. So I warned them that it may make them toot more, or have to go potty a lot. (which is what we need for one of them... don't you know moms think about their children's regularity). When school started today was just about the time the fiber one bars began their work in Lily.
She in one room, Zech in another as I TRIED to teach him lessons on subtraction. She passes gas, he giggles. I ignored. But it got too much for him to handle. I told him he needed to get control or he'd be sent to him room prolonging the end of school. He ended up in his room. Only to return to crack up laughing when he opened his mouth.
Again to his room. Came back in opened his mouth to answer a problem only to find that laughter spilled out. Who knew toots were so so hilarious. Eventually I gave up, sent him to his desk to finish a stack of worksheets (some of which we usually do as part of the lesson). He diligently works, comes back for a quick check of his papers. When I send him back to make some corrections, he begins to complain. So I tell him "Just imagine your sister FARTING"... he finished his work as he laughed.
School has to be fun, right?
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